Sinking Ships
by Dad of War
Summary: Ichika Orimura's brain decides to work for one day and he realizes something: all the girls he's ever acquainted with himself are in love with him. And that they have treated him terribly in this regard.
1. Chapter 1

Ichika Orimura was absolutely, positively finished.

With what, you may ask? Everything. Everything in the whole world. From the blue skies to the blue waters to the green fields and green trees and whatever else the world had to offer him. He was sick of it all. Horrendously sick - putridly sick.

Okay, he was just exaggerating. He was mostly just sick of the school he'd had the misfortune of being sent to on account of having a Y-chromosome compatible with _the_ most technologically advanced weapon in history so far: the Infinite Stratos. IS Academy just had to be so accepting of a man who could pilot an IS, never mind all the rather unfortunate things that could occur if a man would enter an all-girls' school...

Not that Ichika would have done anything indecent in his stay. But he was puzzled by everyone in this estrogen-filled school, mainly because they all sought one thing every day, every hour, every minute, every second.

Him.

And he wasn't trying to be vain! He wasn't _trying_ to get every girl to go after him! He'd never intended such a thing! He hadn't even _known_ of their feelings, not until something in his brain clicked that fateful day he decided to be a little more observant about his surroundings. And it was such a stupid thing...

How could he have not known sooner!? Had he been that dense!? And now, every woman in this place was after him! No joke! It certainly seemed like it, what with the _hordes_ of girls constantly ogling him or spreading rumors about his supposed celibacy or even homosexuality - _he was straight!_ \- as feeble excuses to argue why he hadn't gotten into a relationship with anyone at the academy yet...

And it certainly didn't help that the girls he had surrounded himself with - _his friends_ \- were all. In. Love with him!

It was stupid! Dumb! Idiotic! Mind-bending! Horrible!

Why so? Doesn't this sound like every boy's dream? _No_! Because every time he'd talk, or text, or smile at, or offer to go shopping with, or laugh with a girl - any girl - they would put him through worlds of abject agony!

He'd been violently kicked in the stomach, tugged from arm to arm, attacked with an IS, insulted, placed with serious demerits on his permanent record (he had never sexually harassed anyone!), and worst of all, he was never able to trust any of them because they all were so _distrusting_ of him in the first place! They were friends! Weren't they!? _Weren't they_!?

But no! No...course not.

Laura was beyond possessive! Shuffling into his bed (naked, _naked_!) while he slept, calling him her "wife," repeatedly doing things that'd result in him getting utterly picked apart by the other girls...

Rin - he'd never even known he'd had such a hold over her! He hadn't even done that much when they were kids! He'd done more with Houki...Rin was just a friend! An _alright_ friend...not a best friend, not an acquaintance, just...a friend. That had been enough for him...

And he had never even known why Cecilia had fallen for him. All he'd ever remembered doing was sparring with her and _losing_ in his IS! What had made her fall for him-!?

Wait. Oh, yeah. He impressed her.

And he hadn't even wanted to get started on Tatenashi...girl was getting him in trouble for _fun_.

...

...The only ones who had gotten...relatively closer to his heart were Houki and Charlotte. But...but...

Houki had been his friend since childhood. They'd played together, horsed around, done stupid things, and were happy doing those stupid things...and...she _had_ attracted him, if only for a little bit, but...but she had done so much _wrong_. She'd never let him explain himself whenever he'd get in a compromising position with any of the girls. She'd always jump to conclusions and do something horrible to him whenever he'd...offend her. And he'd never intended to...intended to do any of it, but...she...

...She was no better than the rest.

Charlotte...she had been a sweet girl. A very sweet, gentle girl...one Ichika was glad to have befriended. One Ichika had once even thought about...loving. Attractive, in both personality and looks. Genuinely sweet...charming in her own way. He had once thought, Maybe I could fall for her.

But no. She was a force to behold when jealous. When angered, she was...no better than the other girls! No better, not in the least! Like Houki!

He'd never meant anything to these girls! It was like he was but a trophy to them!

A trophy!

A prize to be won...

...No.

No! Okay!? No.

He wasn't going to be a trophy any longer. Never!

Ichika was going to do something...something about all this!

He was going to take charge and be a man!


	2. Chapter 2

Now, the first thing Ichika had to do was...think.

What were his options? Dropping out of school? No. He didn't want _that_ , that would be excessive. Besides, he'd just encounter the same problem in a co-ed school. Less girls, but more jealous guys. Not that he was one to brag. But - wow, he was sounding quite sexist. But was it sexist when he was being derogatory to both genders? No, just misanthropic, he supposed.

Bitter was his heart and mind. He _really_ didn't know how to go about this "being-a-man" deal. Was he going to pull a no-holds barred beatdown on the girls during IS training? No, that'd just be wrong. He wasn't a monster, just _annoyed_. Was he going to talk to the girls individually, and say, "I'm not into any of you?" No, no, no! That was suicidal. Either they'd cry from a broken heart or he'd cry because of a shattered spine. Either way, someone was going to cry, and he never liked seeing people cry! Not even his so-called "friends-"

...oh, no.

He checked his watch. Then the clock. Watch. Clock. Watch, clock. It was lunch time.

Surely, something was going to happen. Maybe Charlotte would step in and give him some delicacy from France he'd never heard of - perhaps Cecilia would cook something _horrible_ and try and get him to sample it - Rin, too! Maybe Laura would come and glomp him with giant mechanical arms and crush his insides, and then Houki would mash his brains in with a _freaking Kendo stick_ and Tatenashi would yuk it up like she always did and Chifuyu would step in and all of them would just die on the spot-

...wow. That was...scary to think about. But regardless! Time to run, for Ichika Orimura!

"Ichika!" No! No! So close! Yet...so far...!

"Y-yeah, Charl?" He _knew_ it was suicide to call her by her nickname, but then she'd find out something was up if he hadn't-! Wait, but since he was planning to eat lunch alone, she'd know something was up regardless. _STUPID-_

"Um, would you like to eat lunch with me up on the roof?" she asked him sweetly, holding something behind her back that he couldn't see - _probably just a bento of some kind -_ "I've got something special for today, and I'm hoping you could share it with me - I mean, uh," her face blared out red, "w-well, it's something I'd like to share with a friend, and s-so, uh...could you?"

...the girl is _too cute!_ Ichika, you fool! Resist the temptation! Beat against the tide! Be a man! You must be swift as the coursing river! With all the force of a great typhoon! With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon-

"Ichika? Is...something the matter?"

Charlotte, being rather observant, managed to notice the _very_ nervous nature of the once-blindingly stupid boy in front of her, and was genuinely concerned. She loved the boy, and his blustering naivety - while not doing her any favors in terms of the whole "getting-him-to-be-her-boyfriend" deal - was something she did like about him, when it didn't involve him going after other girls. But now, here he was, _nervous_ , the first she'd ever seen him.

When around the girls, he was never nervous. When around _her_ , he was never nervous (and yeah, she would have liked him to be...). But now...in front of her...he was. What did this mean? She had to know. "Ichika, you look...what's wrong?"

Ichika gulped, words escaping him. "L-look, Charl, I-" - _I know you're in love with me and I'm sorry for being such an oblivious jerk but would you kindly not try and hit me with an IS whenever I look at a girl that isn't you-_ "-I'm gonna eat lunch alone today." _You pathetic, whipped little-_

"Why?" she asked, genuinely concerned for her friend's sudden preference to be without companionship. "What's bothering you?" He never seemed _this_ bothered at all - especially around her. "You can tell me."

"Um, well, you see...uh, I...," he let out a sigh. "Look..."

She stared at him patiently, "Take your time."

...why did she have to be so...

A million reasons came upon Ichika - reasons why he had once felt more than a platonic attachment to Charlotte. She was _truly_ a kind girl - he knew this! They all were kind girls, when...when they weren't...at each other's throats...but...nevertheless, this girl - Charlotte - she was sweet. Sweeter than any girl he had ever been accustomed to - what with Houki and Chifuyu and all - Charlotte was someone rare _._

 _Except_ when jealous.

And then Ichika's thoughts turned even more sour, and that reflected on his face.

"I-Ichika?"

Realizing what he must have looked like, judging from Charlotte's shocked expression, Ichika quickly straightened up. "I'm...look, Charl, there's a lot on my plate right now, and I'm...really - I would just like to be alone, just for now. Is that okay? I mean, uh-" -think of something nice to say before you end up making her cry, you red-eyed little-"-we can hang out some other time, though-" - _WHAT NO NO WHAT ICHIKA YOU STUPID IDIOT NO NO WAIT TAKE IT BACK OR ELSE YOU'LL-_ "-so...I'll see you then?" _STUPID STUPID STUPID-!_

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to talk about it?" Charlotte asked him, brows furrowing not in anger - in worry. He noticed this, and immediately felt a thousand times more guilty.

"Yeah, I'm sure I do." Oh, no, he noted to himself. She still doesn't look too happy."Maybe I can tell you about it some other time." Yes, Ichika, dig yourself in deeper in the hole that is your life. Or, the harem that is your life. Either way works. "That okay?"

"...okay," she meekly muttered. "I'll see you later."

"...yeah..."

* * *

...what was he going to do...?

Ichika chomped on a small loaf of sweet bean bread. He thought he was doing something rather pathetic, eating lonesomely out in the courtyard on a single slice of bread - but ironically, he was unintentionally cultivating the "brooding, tall-dark-and-handsome" kind of look that the girls in the school had always wanted to see out of him.

This whole, "being-a-man," thing was going to be harder than he had thought it would be. Someone was going to get hurt. He thought he'd prepared himself for that, but...it was a much more harrowing experience, in real life. He didn't mean to hurt anybody, he just...he wanted them to...stop. The girls hadn't done anything wrong to him yet. Not recently, anyway. So, he still had the opportunity to make do with this situation in a _peaceful_ manner.

Charlotte. Really...

...that girl, she always seemed to find some way to shake him. As if pressing up against him naked in the sauna wasn't enough, she-

Wait! He just remembered she did that! She literally pressed up naked against him in the sauna! Boobs on back, hand on shoulder, eyes closed, voice all soothing and _Ichika you idiot why didn't you figure out sooner that she was in love with you you dumb-_!

"Ichika?"

Oh, no. Oh, _no._

* * *

 **author's note  
okay yeah I think I'm getting a little bit more into IS again.  
sorry for the delay, I've been uninterested in IS for the time being, but something about this fic makes me wanna return to it.  
and seeing how it's Christmas, I thought it'd be nice to release a short sequel to the first chap, so :P  
here's to hoping next chap won't take six months or so**

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 **(ps charl is best girl)**


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